Yes, you read the title correctly. There is a jacket thief in Chattanooga, or quite possibly and worse yet, in my own neighborhood!
Let me start at the beginning, and after you hear the story, maybe you will draw the same conclusion that I have. Or maybe you will side with my (well meaning but mistaken) husband on the matter.
It all began about a month ago. Now, note that today’s date is October 24th, and the weather here in Chattanooga has been fluctuating between warm and cool for about a month. As a result of the varying temperatures, I have often gone to our coat closet (near the front door) for a lightweight jacket.
The first time I noticed that the jacket thief had struck was the day I opened the coat closet in mid-October. Now, I am a typical woman in regards to shopping. I love it. We have a budget for clothes and I spend it wisely, but I have managed to gradually accumulate quite a few jackets, coats, and cute little casual blazers. On this particular day I wanted to wear my dark-wash demin jacket with my brown top and beige pants with brown stripes. But did I find my dark-wash demin jacket? You guessed it. No, I did not. It was gone. Without a trace, vanished. I thought to myself, “Self, this is a little strange. I know this is where I put my jacket last time I wore it. But maybe I am mistaken. I am sure it’s around here somewhere.” And that was the end of the conversation with myself regarding my denim jacket.
And I didn’t think about my demin jacket again until I went to the coat closet a week later for my beige cordorouy jacket. It was missing. And a week later I opened the closet for my black cordorouy jacket. It was new! My mom just bought it for me. It was missing. A couple of days later I opened the closet for my blue and grey North Face winbreaker. I’d worn it the week before when I couldn’t find my beige cord jacket. I remember wearing to church on Wednesday night. Why wouldn’t it be here now?
That is when I took a step back from my coat closet and re-evaluated. Just call me Heather Smith, P.I. Bending down, I looked on the floor. Carpet. No jackets. And up above where there were shelves. A big bag of Halloween candy from Sams, a vacuum cleaner attachment, some extra hangers. But no jackets. I closed the door. I tip-toed around the corner, ran back, and flung the door open. Someone must be playing a mean trick on me. Maybe my husband wants to have some fun at my expense.
My conclusion? There must be a jacket thief. A smart one, who knows I would notice 4 jackets missing all at once. So this thief is subtle, sneaking around and stealing one jacket at a time. My guess? It’s a woman. Why would a man steal women’s jackets? For Christmas presents for his wife? Maybe I will never know.
My husband’s conclusion? I have put jackets on in the morning when it was cold, taken them off midday when it warms up, and left them places. Forgotten, all over Chattanooga, all 4 jackets.
Your conclusion? Comments welcome.
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