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diary of a mad pregnant woman…

Hello beloved blog audience.

It’s high time I break my unprecedented 3 week silence and post a blog, eh?

Anyone who follows me on Facebook or Twitter is fully aware (because I’m SO NOT the strong silent type) that I have been feeling miserable. We announced pregnancy #2 on Mother’s Day, and ever since then I’ve been fluctuating between around the clock nausea and exhaustion.

I haven’t taken any photos at all (besides a project that I’m going to blog about later tonight) and I haven’t done much of anything productive unless you consider watching American Idol and LOST productivity (and if you do, please call me, because I want to come work for you. I’m totally your girl).

I haven’t blogged, haven’t cooked very much, haven’t been able to keep the house clean, haven’t even been able to run errands that take longer than an hour or two.

I haven’t wanted (or been able to do) any of my favorite things: Starbucks, photography, shopping, and taking Alana to play at various kid places around town.

It’s pitiful. I just have to constantly remind myself of how blessed I really am, despite the temporary awfulness. I have an incredible husband, wonderful daughter, loving and supportive family, and typically, I have my health. I suppose this doesn’t fall into the category of unhealthy, though…since my body seems to be doing what it’s supposed to do.

Growing a baby is NOT my forte, I must say. If a woman ever tells me that she loves to be pregnant, it takes my full concentration not to contort my face into an incredulous expression of dismay and confusion.

Some women glow. Some women look good. Some feel glorious when they’re expecting. I feel NONE of the above. I feel like a pathetic, second-rate version of myself. I will spare you the details (and hope that Rich doesn’t rat me out), but let’s just say my digestive system doesn’t work smoothly when I’m baking my bun. The whole process is just WAY, way off and it yields some very unpleasant results. For me. For my fellow housemates. If we weren’t family, they’d be gone…no doubt.

Add to the humor (and yes, I’m choosing to view it as such), my belly is popping out significantly sooner than with Alana. My pre-pregnangy clothes don’t fit. Maternity clothes are still way too big. Trust me, I’ve been ultra-sexy laying around the house with my nausea and digestive problems while in my mismatched jammies. It’s hot. I’m totally glamorous.

And let’s ponder for a moment just HOW MANY TIMES I could possibly have to pee during the course of 24 short hours? I am totally going to count tomorrow. I really have to know the number.

I can’t help but think back to our dating days. If he could have seen what was coming…

That’s okay, I tell myself…I will totally love him and take care of him when he’s old and grey and his hair is growing from unexpected places. He’ll have his turn. I’m just miffed that my ultra-unattractive phases have been in my 20’s. What’s up with that? NOT FAIR.

I will end on a positive note. I am so thankful to have a sweet little life-sucking parasite growing inside of me. I pray for Baby Smith’s health and safety, and despite all of the jokes and sarcasm, I love this little critter already.

If you are a woman who is sexy and glamourous when you are pregnant, you are not allowed to leave a comment on this blog post, because frankly, right now, I don’t like you.

But if you can empathize with the aforementioned grumblings, comment away. Misery loves company 🙂

  • Tony Souder - May 26, 2010 - 3:36 pm

    much laughter!

  • Cami - May 26, 2010 - 3:50 pm

    awwwww…heather joy! yeah, it’s pretty much miserable, exhausting, and i’m definitely at my ugliest. but just remember…you were back in your skinny jeans, what–like 8 days after alana arrived. it’s so worth the ugliness and nastiness. w/the 4th trimester, it’s a 1 yr. total sacrifice per kid. hope you are eating lollipops! love ya!

  • Cami - May 26, 2010 - 3:57 pm

    ps this post of course begs the question….where are pictures of this alleged belly?!

    pss two is so much more fun than one!

  • Mom Smith - May 26, 2010 - 5:41 pm

    Praying that you will feel 100%, 180 degrees better in a couple of weeks whenever the second trimester arrives. It will get better–yeah–it truly will.

    Hugs!

  • bonnie - May 26, 2010 - 8:15 pm

    oh i SO can relate. seems like those words could have come from my own blog. I am praying you feel better soon. i have really been trying to appreciate the miracle the lord has given me the honor to carry. it is So hard though most of the day. Hang in there. you WILL survive this i promise.

  • Michelle - May 26, 2010 - 11:45 pm

    Ok, I have to say, you made me crack up. I’m not so wonderful at baking buns myself so I can somewhat relate. Thank gosh all 4 of my buns are growing up and I’ll not be baking anymore. I hope things get better for you Heather.

  • Sheri - May 27, 2010 - 7:33 am

    Feel for you Heather – I was sick with all three for the entire pregnancies. Not fun. And I didn’t look lovely to say the least! Warren stuck with me though, and right now we are so enjoying the fruit of it all!!! It will pass – it just feels like forever right now!

  • Sarah Lashbrook - May 27, 2010 - 8:22 am

    I’m so totally on the same page with you…hated pregnancy, especially the second time…the nausea, the growing belly, feeling kind of unattractive. I don’t understand how some women can say they love it – I just wanted my body back the entire time (and even now – breastfeeding is kind of the same way: my body is still not totally mine right now). Anyway, it’ll be over before you know it – we’ll be praying for you!

  • Amber Martin - May 27, 2010 - 9:46 am

    Heather,
    I totally can empathize with you. I am 36.5 weeks pregnant with my first baby, a boy, and I have all the YUCKY side effects also. I started with the morning sickness at 6 weeks along and it hasn’t left. Thank God for a lovely drug called Zofran…it has saved me. I’m sleepy all the time too and let’s not forget the achy hips, inability to think, breath & bend over. Swelling has also settled in for my pregnant body….let me tell you, I CAN NOT wait to deliver this little guy and be done with my pregnancy! :o) It is a miracle and I’m so thankful that God has blessed us with a little human to raise, I just want to be done cooking him!

    Hope that you feel better soon and just so you know, I definitely don’t feel glamorous even though my loving hubby says I am. :o)

  • Amber Martin - May 27, 2010 - 9:57 am

    Heather,
    I totally can empathize with you.I am 36.5 weeks pregnant with my first baby, a boy, and I have all the YUCKY side effects also. I started with the “morning” sickness at 6 weeks along and it hasn’t left. Than God for a lovely drug called Zofran…it has saved me. I’m sleepy all the time too and let’s not forget the achy hips,inability to think breath,bend over. Swelling has also settled in for my pregnant body….let me tell you, I CAN NOT wait to deliver this little guy and be done with my pregnancy! :o) It is a miracle and I’m so thankful that God has blessed us with a little human to raise, I just want to be done cooking him!

    Hope that you feel better soon and just so you know, I definitely don’t feel glamorous even though my loving hubby says I am :o)

  • Heidi - May 27, 2010 - 10:37 am

    Awww, it’s not so much fun in the beginning, I remember being sick with Maddy for 5 months. Hang in there girl!

  • Pix - May 27, 2010 - 10:45 am

    Yeah, so I have nothing encouraging to say since I don’t know anything about this! 🙂 But I am here for you and I will not leave you just because you are gross! Don’t mention it, that’s what sisters are for! PS…I don’t actually think you are gross and fat. PSS…I cannot wait to meet the new little one!

  • amber - May 27, 2010 - 11:31 am

    You’re the best. Let’s make a countdown calendar so you can start checking each day you survive off. It has to end at some point:)

    We’re gonna have to make sure we document that belly:)

    love ya

  • Shannon - May 27, 2010 - 1:11 pm

    Well…was thinking of joining you for round two, but having second thoughts! LOL! The part where you said you are in your 20’s reminded me that I am in my 30’s and that scares me even more!
    Hard to believe that you feel unattractive Mrs. Smith. You are beautiful inside and out despite the physical labors! Can’t wait to meet baby #2!

  • Mom - May 27, 2010 - 9:21 pm

    I’m extremely amused right now… At your expense, I’m afraid… 🙂 Very accurate (and funny) account of pregnancy. Glad you finally felt good enough to blog about it!

  • Briana - May 28, 2010 - 9:39 am

    oh dear. I feel you, man do i feel you sister. Being pregnant is the worst! Uggg, but, or should I say BUT the good news is you have precious Alana there to remind you that one day (sooner than you think) you will feel better and have a beautiful child there who will make you forget (almost) how awful you feel right now. I’m so sorry sweetheart. I have some pressure point wrist bands for you and will bring them by and commiserate with you whenever you want. Hang in there. You CAN do this and despite how you feel, it won’t kill you! 🙂 Love you. I”m praying for you.

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