Rich, Heather and Alana’s Blog »

1. you are a great writer.
2. i enjoy how open you are with your life.
3. i feel blessed to know you.
4. your children are very fortunate, as well as your hubby.
5. having wee ones is work. they do grow up (fast).
6. keep up the good work….worth it.

I am so glad you are going through all of this first! Knowing ME, I won’t actually glean from it – and will have to make all of my own mistakes, but it is good to know that even my perfect older sister doesn’t think she is perfect! I love you and am thankful for you. Not only because you are a great sister, but you are great example of a loving mother. Sometimes when I am over, I feel like I should be taking notes Thanks for sharing your heart. It’s really beautiful.

Such a beautiful post, my dear. Being a parent is the most difficult thing a person can do in life, but also the most rewarding. The days are long and the years fly by. Remember that you cannot do everything all the time, or everything well. Nights of leftovers or ordering in could be that small break you need in the day. Truly a 27/7 job has a little extra wear and tear. It’s okay to need a break and be sure you take those for yourself, and for you and Rich. Being energized physically and emotionally (as best you can at this stage) has benefits for the family. I always have exercised and made it a priority, because I would notice a change in my patience level with the family if I didn’t take care of myself physically. I didn’t like that feeling at all, and the family didn’t need it.

It’s funny because our lives are a never ending lesson. I notice changes in perceptions, needs, desires each decade of my life and as my children grow. I do remember thinking that when Jack was born, how crazy hard it was being sleep deprived, and truly it was, at the time for me. Everything is relative to what we have experienced for US. Now, I look back and understand that was the easy part. But, I had to earn that badge I suppose. With my oldest entering puberty and the teenage years, I could never have imagined the challenges he faces and in turn I face, as well.

Each stage prepares you somewhat for the next. Each stage is a bit harder. And when you realize, just as you have, that you are shaping a real person, someone’s friend, sister, wife, that is scary stuff!

When Jack was getting to the point where he needed more than a diaper change and to be feed, when we were getting into behavior, I was scared out of mind. I had no tools to deal with teaching a child anything, or at least it felt like it. I love my parents, but they where not the example I wanted to to model. I was fortunate to take some parenting classes that have helped make me the parent, I would most want to be (still very far from perfect, but perfect is unattainable).

The classes were through International Network for Children and Families.

http://www.incaf.com

They have an instructor in Knoxville. They also have many books, etc., however, if you had an opportunity to take a class, I highly recommend it. There are role-playing activities that I found extremely profound and helpful.

Another book I liked was “Siblings without Rivalry” by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish.

As always, thank you for sharing your words and your pictures! Love to you all!

Love you, heather. I think you’re an awesome mom.

Very thoughtful and accurate post of a mother’s feelings, Heather. I know I felt the same way when you girls were small, and I think every mom must feel this way during seasons. The mom you described is really about 10-12 women combined, I think. And that’s ok. If we had it all together, we wouldn’t need God or His Word. And we do need Him. And we need that parenting manual we call the Bible. That is what makes us wiser and more confident in what we’re doing, as it puts perspective in our lives. That’s what He is teaching you every day. Perspective. Great word!

Your post reminded me of two things that I’ve been reminded of a LOT lately.
#1: 2 Corinthians 12:9&10
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
And really who likes to be weak? But it’s very easy for me to understand and be okay with the fact that when I am weak, God can be seen more in my life because others know that it is not by my own strength, that I can go on.
#2: A song that I LOVE is called Blessings by Laura Story and this is the chorus:
Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

(I LOVE the line “or the aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy.” SO true, and isn’t it great to know that we have a promise that it won’t always be that way, that we won’t always be worn, worried and tired, but that we have a hope of a better place to come?

Love you and you’re doing an amazing job!

I read your stuff Heather and I feel you and I are kindred spirits. We really should be better friends Every word you wrote I have said myself before. If you were the perfect mom imagine how hard it would be for your girls to live up to that when they themselves are mothers. I love to see moms make mistakes, lose their patience, have messy houses, and see their kids throw tantrums because I realize I am normal. God made each of us unique and wonderful and “perfect” in his image, flaws and all.

Oh Heather, I could have written your post word for word (okay, change some details, but you get the point!). GRACE. That is possibly the best thing I have learned thus far in this parenting journey. We need to give ourselves some as moms, and I am thankful for it from Christ. In exchange, showing it to others, especially our children is so important. Celebrate your successes. Enjoy every moment, as you know they go by too quickly. I can’t say it gets any easier, but with a heart like yours, you’re learning as you go and you get better. xo